The Guide to Stay-At-Home Mom Survival
4 Tips to Surviving Being a SAHM
Every since I knew I wanted to have children, I knew that I wanted to be stay-at-home mom (SAHM). I was only in daycare for a little bit of my childhood and I remember those being the most horrible days growing up! I didn’t want to have to drop my beautiful children off at a daycare where they are vulnerable to getting punished, hurt and taught differently than I would teach. I wanted to be able to raise my children and watch them grow. I didn’t want to miss a second. I just KNEW that being a SAHM would be easier. I wouldn’t have to worry about working, I could be home with the kids and play all day, and of course, my house would be completely clean all the time. How hard could it be, right? I very quickly figured out that being a SAHM mom is tough stuff.
I never get to do anything for myself. I don’t get to pee by myself, I don’t get to enjoy a meal without sharing my entire plate, I clean up a mess while the toddlers are making another (and bigger) mess, dishes and laundry are endless and whining is constant. Naps are impossible some days and dirty faces are inevitable.
I have only been a stay-at-home mom for about three years now and there are a couple things that I have learned that help me get through this experience and make the most of being a SAHM. I really do love being at home. There are so many wonderful things I get to enjoy while being home with my kids that I would never give up for anything. BUT there are things that I have learned that help me survive.
Four Tips to Survive being a SAHM
- Don’t give up your hobbies: Yes, you are a mother! Motherhood is a wonderful job and the most important role you will ever have. A mother is what you do, but it’s not all of who you are. I am a mother of two amazing little toddler boys! I love them so much and I am proud to tell people that I am their mother, I will never be ashamed to say that. However, I also love to play volleyball. I love to build things with power tools, I love scrap-booking, I love writing and I love do anything active. It is so easy to lose your identity behind your children, but losing yourself will result in losing your sanity. Continue doing things (outside of your children) that make you happy. My husband and I still make time to play volleyball and I am a freelance writer to help me continue doing things that I like doing.
- Don’t compare yourself to other SAHM: We all do it. We all compare ourselves to other moms. We look at Susie and realize that she always has her house clean, her kids are always in the most trending outfits and she always looks beautiful. You look at her and you wish that you were Susie. You will never be as amazing as her (you think to yourself). No good can come from comparing yourself to other moms. You will NEVER amount to any mom that you see because all you see is their qualities,you don’t know what they are dealing with. You may see these perfect moms with the perfect family, but you didn’t see Susie yelling at her kids to get ready, you didn’t see her staying up late until her eyes burned picking out their outfits. You also never saw Susie put her kids in front of the television for an hour so that she could just clean. We never know what other moms are going through and most likely they are looking at you wishing they were you
- Make mom friends: Your old friends are great! Make sure that you maintain your relationships with your old friends. It is important to have fun with friends that don’t have children because it is sometimes super exhausting to spend all day with your children and then spend all day talking about children. With your old friends they will probably provide more laughs and light conversation to help you wind down from the stresses of motherhood. However, making mom friends is important to your sanity as well! It is so relieving to talk to other moms and discuss the stresses, trials, joys and exhaustion of motherhood. It is sometimes extremely comforting to know that the world isn’t just picking on you and you are not dealing with these issues alone. It is nice to talk to somebody about sleeping habits, breastfeeding, behavior issues, pieces of advice and even tell funny stories of the things that your children do. It will help with your sanity if you are able to talk this out with other SAHM, because no matter how much your husband wants to help, he just will never get it.
- Stay Busy: One important piece of advice that I give SAHM is to remain busy. I know that it gets lonely sometimes you are just counting down the minutes until your spouse comes home so that you can have a break and finally have somebody to talk with. One thing that helps me through the day and makes the day go faster is if I am keeping busy. I take my kids on walks, play with them , I have to-do lists and I even take them on outings. Days seem to go quicker and I feel much more productive when I stay busy all day. It may seem like you are more tired, but you will feel like you are getting much more out of this SAHM business.
Being a stay-at-home mom is one of the greatest opportunities I have ever had in my entire life. I love being able to see my babies every single day and I don’t have to worry about bundling them up every morning and taking them somewhere to have people that I don’t know very well watch them. But, being a SAHM certainly takes some getting used to and trial and error before figuring out the perfect method to surviving.